Who is at fault?

Have you ever fallen a victim to wrong or mis-interpreted communication?

Hmm, trust me , it isn’t a good one, but who is at fault, how often have we tried to pass across an innocent message but have been mis-represented maybe as a result of our way of presentation or the listener's perception, where he/she assumes that this is what is said and thereby passes on the wrong message and of course we can imagine the consequence(s) of such.

some of us are so much in a hurry to pass across a message(especially in a phone conversation) that we just say it all in a rush without bothering to see if the person did get it right, I remember a practical exercise one of my lecturers Mr. Lanre Akinola did in class way back, he called out ten members of the class, whispered something to someone's ear and ask the person to pass it on to the next, the next to the next until it gets to the last person who will then say it out to the entire class, but what he said turned out to be different from what the lecturer started with, who is at fault, the first person or the last person, as they all had different answers to give.

what am trying to say with this write up is that we should be careful when passing a message, don’t assume that the person you are speaking to would automatically understand, no, that is  a chance you should not take, go extra mile to make them understand especially if the message is IMPORTANT, we should make sure that our words are clear to others by using words that could be easily understood. okay, maybe if I share this  phone conversation  from sister  Zabrina's book: Life is an Open Secret, you would flow with my vibes(by the way, i think you would really love the book).

This is a phone conversation:

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?

Operator:  Yes, you can speak to me

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan

Operator: Yes, I understand you want to speak to anyone, you can speak to me, who is      

               this?                  

Caller:      I am Sam Wan and I need to talk to Annie Wan! It’s urgent

Operator:  I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! but what is this

                urgent matter about?

Caller:  Well...just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an      accident. Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital 

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude, who are you?

Operator: I am  Saw Ree

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry, now give me your name!

Operator:  That's what I said. I am Saw Ree

Caller:  oh God!

Pretty hilarious don’t you think?  so I ask here who is at fault, I leave you to answer that while I ask how many times we have been Sam Wan or Saw Ree in our conversation with others and of course we see the consequence, nothing was communicated, so let’s try to make our conversations clear, even if it means having to repeat it all over, did I hear you say repeat?

You don’t wanna be sorry or someone, do you.lol

….halybee

Iya ni Wura..

Adebisi.Shakirat Titilayomi wrote:

For All Our Beautiful Mothers

Ma, Mother, Mamma, Mom, Amma, She has many names in variety,
Love she renders amazing, Impressions made lasting!
In her gentle hand, A safe haven we found,
She did brought out,
All the love in her soul!
Watching us grow and play,
Still silently standing and praying,
Never wanting any glory.
She sacrifice, Evidently her energy,
For us, anytime - anywhere.
What we needed most,
She knew, She gave!
She was outstandingly wonderful, making us know we are worthy!
She pours on us incredible Love, unmatched by human scores.
Dignified our being, making us feel cherished!
With her sincere prayers that we may be safe.
Ever ready to share our burdens, With the hands; That bore us, years ago!
Years may have flowed; Words may have faded; Truly the greatness of a mother, Stands beyond!
Why not let us tell her: Mamma, your love Makes happy my journey!
Love you always Mum; For what you are - truly a great Soul!

Back in the days...

Yoruba people usually say 'ogun omode ko le sere fun ogun odun'(twenty children cannot play together for twenty years). I remember back in the days, when mama's were still girls(well, some of us are still girls sha, lol) this day May 11th, after lectures, we or she would have gone for photo shoot.

well before you ask, we aint models hun hun, nothing of such and that not because we aint good looking ooo, don't just try us.lol ,but it is because its Bidemi's birthday,(i wonder if she still does that now) oh those days in Olabisi Onabanjo University, dont i miss it, when we use to fight about almost everything during group reading, like who do the dishes,who fetches water,who does the cooking, who gets to eat the head or tail of the fish,who takes the tutorial on a particular course, who takes more spoon of food than the other..i could go on and on, for inside all this argument we  all did find a common ground and we were better of for it, for it further binded us together.Alhmadulilah.

Dear friend,BELLO BALOGUN BIDEMI, this is for you on your birthday, as i remember this day way back, all the sweet memories of our time together just would not stop coming back, me, you (now mumy Ahmad), Monsura(now mumy Muhammed), Tosin(now Mumy Orire) and sister Ganiyat and i remember Moby joining us once in a while, i would never forget that "idiot argument day" lol...oh such and such memories.

#friendsforever#
Loads of love dearie...

…Before you paint that picture

We condemn them, we tend to alienate them, we expect them to be perfect, yet they are just human being like us. They are HAJIAS, they cover up themselves in compliance with their religious teaching, some envy them, some dislike them, some understand them, few adore them, and others simply ignore them.

Hello!

Hello, is that Gallant communications please,

Yes please, how may I help you?

I have been to your office earlier, just wanted to know if you around now,

Yes I am

Okay then, would join you shortly

Alright we would be expecting you.

To some people this may come as a self defense or a reason to justify an action but really, I just want to write to at least make some people understand that certain things don’t work the way they think! Whichever way you see this write up, well it is basically to correct a wrong impression, nothing  less, nothing more.

I have written something on this way back but in a slightly different dimension and I think I did say to myself that am not going to write on this again, well at least not from that same angle, but the above telephone conversion which led to a face to face conversation that same day made me change my mind, I just know immediately that I hath to write something on this.

You know, my conversation with the CEO of Gallant communications really made me want to say it all, first of all, I would like to establish here that being an hajia does not mean I am or neither do I think any other hajia would claim to be a perfect human, perfection belongs to the Almighty alone, so I would take up my writing on this bases : only God is PERFECT.

Permit me to say here that as humans, we want to strive in our own little way to please God and this could come in different form to different people.

The desire to use the head cover though may be influenced by someone or something, but the overall decision like for me, and I want to believe for so many others is a personal decision in compliance to Gods’ commandment as he states in:

Quran 35 verse 59(Al Ahzab)

O prophet! Tell your wives and daughters and the women of the believer to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies. That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allah is ever oft forgiven, most merciful.

See also Quran 24 verse 31(An Nur)

Back to my conversation with the CEO of Gallant communications, we were discussing on general issues and of course what I do which is related to the media, while I wait for him to carry out my transaction request and he just said but young lady, your look and your personality are different.

What do you mean sir, I asked?

Well, it is just that…why do you dress like this (obviously referring to my head cover), do you have to? Without waiting for my response, he continued, from our conversation have been able to gather that you are sound but this your dressing , an ordinary person who sees you on the street would not know that you are this loaded.( whatever  he meant by loaded anyway).

Thank God you said an ordinary person, I interjected him, because it takes more than an ordinary person to know that it goes beyond the head covering, for crying out loud, I cover my head not my brain!

How on earth would someone think that because I use hijab, then I am supposed to be less intelligent, less exposed, less beautiful, less smart, and less of all the positive adjectives you can think of? Haba!, really it takes an ordinary being to think that way.

Like I said earlier, for me the decision to use the head cover is a personal one and I do not see it limiting me in any way whatsoever. I am not perfect, neither am I saying am more pious or God fearing  than those who do not use it. Remember first of all that we are all humans before every other thing such as sex, tribe, religion, race, and even Hijab sets in, Yoruba people would say “eyan le yan o ma je(humans would always be humans)

It is annoying when we see an hajia excelling in her chosen field and people say Alhaja lasan lasan (ordinary Alhaja) what for? We expect them not to react the normal way people would react to issues, we expect not to see them in relationships, and when we see some of them looking good, we give them all sorts of names. I can go on…

The most annoying part of it is paying special attention when we see some of them really doing well as if the head cover is meant to cover up their intelligence.

I could go on but the bottom line is that they are just like you.

Hajia’s are first of all humans, they have feelings like every other persons and they are striving to be better Muslims and obey their Lord.

So before you paint that picture, don’t even try to underrate anybody, because no body is a nobody before God. We are not perfect, neither did Hijab mean we are more pious than those who do not use it. We are only striving to see God’s mercy.

So all you ordinary mind, think before you paint that picture, don’t judge a book by it’s cover , don’t judge one by all, relate well with us before you condemn us, don’t paint the wrong picture.

Hijab does not make us less of human, neither does it necessarily make us a super human.

I am proud of my Hijab, I do not do this for anybody or because of anybody, if you can’t do something, don’t condemn those doing it.

I am an Hajia and I represent my hood well, no shaking!