TOO OLD TO DIE...Part 1

 As she turned to acknowledge my slight tap on her shoulder , after calling her several times with no response , the tears started streaming uncontrollably like an open tap or like a VVF patient who can’t control the passage of nature, well, would there be anything like “VVF of the eyes” because I think that is what is happening to her now.

The tears, just dropping with no control, it’s definitely not my slight tap on her shoulder, neither is anyone dead? Or  did anyone die?

I guess I know where she has been all this while, she had travelled on a long journey of self denial again.

Not again! Was all I could say, and as if this was a needle that pierced her, Busola started the crying proper this time around again.

Now, babe I think we need to go inside, no excuse, no stories, you are gonna spill it all out, with this i held her hand and off we go into her room, and the tears continued, she had held it for so long I guess, she couldn’t just hold back anymore, now you see why I say its VVF of the eyes? Because the tears keep dropping from her eyes like a tap that has entirely lost its control.

Well she did followed me meekly like a child that  is ready to get lambasted by her mother for what she already knows.

She had barely taken a seat in the room when she started, “ I know you are going to say am stupid, I know you are going to call me names  and I don’t care, really, I don’t care. Forgive my tears , I know it bothers you  and it’s because you care but right now I don’t need anybody to get me back to my senses, I would get it myself, but  only God know when. I hope soon though, she said and started the tears all over.

Now, she got me really surprised and confused, not that this is the first time am seeing her like this, no, she has always been in this “sort of pain”  and am almost always guessing right, but I don’t want to guess anything this time around, she would have to say it herself, but you know, she is just  too bottled up for my liking, she never did speak out.

You know what Lara, she is just too old to die she said without facing me, who? I asked coming out of my thought, so someone did die,  but if old why so much trouble?

I know you can’t wait to hear it all she continued, I know it and I am going to tell you everything, but not so that you could pass your judgement or say what I know anyone would say but because I needed to spill it out before I completely die within, now you don’t bother giving me any advice because am not gonna listen okay!

Die within? I said, intentionally ignoring her last statement, Busola, now this is serious.

You can say that again she said and began to laugh hard, her attitude caught me off-guard(I don’t want to think it has gotten to that stage, if you know what I mean) as if she was reading my  mind, she turned to face me, looked at me straight in the eyes and said: Omolara, I know what you are thinking, I am not insane you know, at least not yet, are you sure you want to hear it all, she asked without waiting for my response.

Are you sure you want to tell me?

And now her laughter was louder than ever, I can see it in your eyes Lara, you can’t wait to hear it all.

Beginning to loose my patience, while I continuously stare at my wristwatch( because I have an appointment  but I can’t leave her now, not because I foresee a juicy story but because I know she really needed to TALK about this) then say it and stop all the drama, I shouted at her, realizing I shouted , I apologized almost immediately, and said to her, Busola, please for goodness sake, tell me who is too old to die and just why would you say that? Everybody would die someday you now?

Yes, just like she just did..she died.., there you go, you have not even heard the story and you are already jumping into conclusion, typical you, soothing me with words already? You see why I don’t like talking to people, I would rather suffer alone.

Oh, am sorry, just tell me, will you? This suspense is not helping matters.

My relationship, she blurted out, and this time around, the tears did not just flow freely, it became intense. I just know I hath to keep quiet, I guess she must be building up the courage to say it. RELATIONSHIP, why didn't I think of that?

Lara, you know I always ask myself this question, is it me or him, at least I relate with other people, they tell me am a great woman, but with him, I seem to have lost my ego, my passion and even myself.

Watch out for the concluding part(s)